Sources and model notes.
This site teaches one relationship program in plain language. It should not be read as a complete summary of attachment science, neuroscience, or clinical guidance.
Primary source
The lessons are a study guide to Stan Tatkin's audio program Your Brain on Love: The Neurobiology of Healthy Relationships. Every lesson was written from the program's transcript, in our own words, and checked against it. The transcript itself is not part of this site.
Whose voice you are reading
The course follows the program's own order and teaches what the author teaches. When a sentence says “Tatkin says”, it reports his claim. When a paragraph starts with “A note from us”, it is our addition: usually a caution, or a reminder of where the model stops.
The numbers he mentions (how many people show each style, how long recovery takes, and so on) are given in passing in the program, without a study being named. Read them as his estimates.
Teaching labels
Island, Wave, Anchor, Airplane, Submarine, Tortoise, Hare, fog of war, and the rule of thirds are presented here as Tatkin's teaching language. They can make patterns easier to notice, but they are not diagnoses and should not be used to reduce a person to a type.
Scientific caution
Short explanations inevitably simplify. Brain regions do not switch cleanly “on” or “off,” partners do not always regulate in lockstep, and no single chemical explains attraction. Claims about prevalence, exact recovery times, or universal relationship outcomes should be treated as program-level generalizations unless supported by a specific study.
Where this guide stops
This material is educational. It is not therapy, medical advice, or a tool for assessing abuse. Couple exercises assume both people can participate freely and safely. If a relationship includes coercive control, intimidation, or violence, prioritize individual safety and qualified local support.